148
CONSTRUCTION
Full-service demolition, renovation, and structural opinions — backed by a self-certified IQ of 148 and absolutely no formal training.
*Figure self-reported. Verification pending.
Our Services
Load-Bearing Wall Opinions
Free consultations on whether a wall "really needs to be there." Confidence provided. Engineering credentials not included.
Demolition Consulting
We'll tell you exactly where to swing the sledgehammer. Structural drawings optional, dramatic pointing mandatory.
Wi-Fi Router Installation
Same expert who diagnosed the router needs "to breathe." Now offering that service professionally, at scale.
Precision Measurements
Give or take a foot. All quotes accurate to within a "vibe." Tape measure present but rarely consulted.
Emergency Improvisation Engineering
Something's leaning. We'll wedge something else under it and call it "temporary," permanently.
Second Opinions
First opinion also free. Also wrong. But delivered with the full confidence of a 148 IQ.
Site Manager & Chief Confidence Officer
Founded after correctly assembling one (1) flat-pack shelf and deciding this qualified him to run a construction company. Has never used a spirit level but has strong opinions about them.
Believes every structural problem can be solved with either more screws or a firmer tone of voice. Usually right about which one, for reasons nobody can explain.
- Years of experience0.5 (self-reported)
- Safety incidents this weekUnder review
- Blueprints read correctly1 of 6
- Confidence level148%
Request a Building Permit
Submit your project. The site manager will personally review it and stamp a decision, whatever that decision turns out to be.
STATUS
Licensed & Insured*
IQ Certified
Verified by one online quiz, taken once, at 2:14am. Not independently confirmed.
Fully Insured
Insurance status: "should be fine." Documentation available upon request, eventually.
OSHA Aware
Has heard of safety regulations. Chooses to interpret them as "suggestions."
5-Star Confidence
Star rating reflects self-assessment only. No customers were surveyed.
What the Neighbourhood Says
He measured twice, cut once, and it still didn't fit. Somehow the wall was wrong.
Quoted me a two-day job. Reader, it took a month, and there's still a tarp involved.
Extremely confident use of a spirit level he was holding upside down.
148 IQ, sure — but which 148 of them thought exposed wiring counted as "rustic"?